Farewell Ruby Lou

Tomorrow I will say goodbye to my beloved Ruby Lou doll.  This doll has meant a lot to me over the years, but I couldn’t be more thrilled about where she is going.

About three & a half years ago - after giving birth to my son, Gabriel - I needed to stay in Idaho for a while before I could return to Argentina.  Jared was with me for about one week after Gabe’s birth.  He was able to come back twice over the next four months, but only for a few days each visit.  He got me a new sewing machine for my birthday that summer, just before Gabe was born.  I didn’t know a stitch about sewing, but it was something I’d expressed an interest in learning how to do, so it boosted my spirits during that difficult time.

After finishing a few small projects, I knew I wanted to take the sewing machine back to Argentina with me.  (I had to dedicate an entire suitcase to that baby, but it was well worth it.)  On top of that, I had promised AnnMarie that I would help her make a doll.  We found the Ruby Lou doll pattern and fell in love with it.  Shortly thereafter - upon returning to Argentina - the Ruby Lous for Ruby Jane project was born.  

Well, I never shared the results of that project back in 2013.  We earned around $400 in doll pattern purchases, and 5 dolls were donated!  I was so happy with how it all turned out.  These dolls are not an easy feat to sew, and the fact that 5 women went to all that effort for this project was just so humbling to me.  One of little Ruby Jane’s nurses picked out the sweetest girls to give the dolls to at the hospital where Ruby Jane stayed & passed away.  

I had every intention of donating the first Ruby Lou doll I made (pictured below), but I decided to keep her for sentimental reasons, and I started making a new doll to be donated during the Holidays as planned.  As life would have it, the second doll never got finished, and after the unexpected loss of my dad, so many aspects of my life were put on hold.  

Well, I finally decided to send our original Ruby Lou doll last month, but she came back to me in the mail a few weeks later.  I e-mailed Ani (Ruby Jane’s mom and founder of The Ruby Jane Fountation) about the predicament, and her response touched my heart.  

“Sharee — I think that you saved that doll for a special reason. I know the perfect girl to send it to! We moved in May and this family moved into our precious ward in June. They have a 2 year old named.....Ruby! Yup! And she was diagnosed with cancer in October. She has lost her ability to walk among other things. Her Aunt is my good friend, and she said she would absolutely love one of the dolls! I am so happy about how this worked out in the end!"

I’m so grateful that God has provided me & my girls with this beautiful purpose for our doll.  I was once again reminded that He is in the details of our lives.  I’m finishing up our package tomorrow for little Ruby, complete with a letter to her & her family about how this doll is truly meant for her!  As it has been for me, I hope this Ruby Lou doll will be a reminder of happiness, the comfort that heaven is here, and the knowledge that Heavenly Father is aware of our struggles.     

     

The Power in Heartache

Sometimes I remember what life felt like before a tragedy, and sometimes I wish for that life back.  It’s so amazing how life’s experiences prepare us for heartache though.  I believe God carefully prepares us for the trials we must face in life…but when the storms rage, we ultimately show Him what we’re made of.  

Little by little I see the power in trials.  We begin to see ourselves as God sees us.  We learn to see life for what it is and what really matters.  We’ll all go through some very scary things in life.  Things that don’t make a whole lot of sense.  Things that break us.  Things that make us wonder why and how.  I’ve always believed wholeheartedly that there is equality in the testing process...and it's because God loves us that much.    

I am not ashamed to say that no man I've ever met was my father’s equal.  My dad drove a beat up brown bomb and had holes in his shoes so that I could have piano lessons and go to dance class.  He made me feel like I was worth every bit of it, too.  He trained me musically and taught me how to be good & descent to other people.  He cried a little every time we said goodbye and reminded me that he’d miss me every day 'til our next hello.  

I discovered this snippet today and couldn’t believe how much it related to everything I’ve been feeling this week.  I’m not always sure where I’m at in the healing process - I’ve come a long ways - but I have hope that someday the raw pain that often catches me off guard won’t affect me so much.  I’m still working towards getting passed that part I think.      

 "I prayed and prayed and prayed (x100,000) that God would take those feelings (of pain)

away, help me forget, and help me move on.

 

In due time God took it away from me

but in His great wisdom, He didn't take them away completely.

He took away the pain, but not the memories.

 

I believe the hard parts make us strong.  

They make us fighters, they make us sympathetic,

caring, kind, loving, compassionate, and they make us brave.” - NieNie

 

Remembering December

  Well, December was a busy month to say the least!  After Christmas I made the conscious decision to plan for a more peaceful December in 2016.  Sigh.  :)  The opportunities were splendid - and I wouldn’t trade them - but I dare say there was too much busy-ness leading up to the sacred celebration of Christ’s birth.  On and on we go - learning to balance opportunity with plenty of peace in between.       

  I was involved in our Stake Relief Society Christmas Choir (under the direction of Rachel Mohlman & Marianne Larsen - two very talented women).  I am so very fortunate to be in the same stake as them!  It’s inspiring to me that they so freely give of their time and talents year after year to make this happen.  Weekly rehearsals ran from September thru December culminating in a weekend of two performances.  I had the opportunity to play the piano for one of the songs that was sung with the Stake Children’s Choir that AnnMarie was in.  Our Sunday fireside was packed - standing room only - with people all the way back to the stage in our stake center.  All of our music had to be memorized in order to participate which required significant effort on everyone’s part, but it was truly a magnificent experience.      

  We got a little snow here and there which was an absolute thrill for Gabe & the girls.  

I made sugar cookies for Carlie’s classroom Christmas party.  Oh, it was sure fun to help out with that!  I love 1st graders.  

  As I’ve mentioned before, AnnMarie was involved in the Mid-Columbia Ballet’s annual production of The Nutcracker, and 2015 marked the 40th Anniversary of this event.  Jared’s parents, my grandparents, my mom, & my sister-in-law Emmy all came up to stay with us for the occasion.  It was nothing shy of a professional production, and there is so much I’d like to say about it, but I’ll spare you the details and the lessons we learned. :)  The week leading up to their performances was absolutely intense & exhausting, but wow, what an experience!  The attention to detail surrounding make-up, hair, costumes, volunteer coordination, & logistics was just incredible.          

  Cousin Max & Aunt Katie were able to come, too!  AnnMarie was so excited to see them!  We’ve missed them ever since they moved to Boise last fall.  Use of photography backstage and during performances was completely prohibited, so I had to order a picture of her in costume on stage via the hired photographer.  I’ll have to share it when I get it…hopefully soon. :)      

  Luke’s 1st Birthday was on the day of AnnMarie's final performances.  Phew.  Poor little guy didn’t get much of a party other than, “Yay!  My life is finally back to normal!”  I took this picture just for fun...and then he seriously took his first steps!!  What are the odds?!!  On his 1st birthday, too!  So of course I started screaming like a crazy person and captured the moment, haha!!

  I didn’t take very many pictures this year, but Christmas Eve was spent together as a family.  We had our traditional humble feast of soup & bread along with a special Christmas story prior to the meal.  The kids sprinkled reindeer food on the front lawn, set Christmas cookies & Pepsi out for Santa, and all slept together in the same room.  It was simple…which was nice.  Jared & I both grew up with lots of extended family surrounding us at nearly every special occasion & holiday, and there are times when I really yearn for my own kids to have those same experiences, but I’m trying to soak it all up and enjoy it for what it is.  Each family unit is so different & unique in its own way with regard to the experiences they’re met with, but be it known that I’m so grateful for my crew and the memories we’re making together.